My Thoughts...
I think SRC hall D is a jinxed hall. It seems like there's this mysterious unlucky force looming there. Anyway, exams are over and I shouldn't be thinking about the papers. I should be worrying about the results that are going to be out in a month's time. Yes, one more semester and I'm going to leave that darn place.
Studying is probably the reason why I needn't have worries at all. Somehow, it has occured to me that I never seemed to understand the mentality of the working people. The need for money to support themselves and their family, the desire to get hitched, the urgency of getting an apartment and live independantly. Maybe, that's why as a student, I never thought about all these except to learn to enjoy myself. Have all the fun in the world and always remember to study well too.
Maybe that's why I can never understand how my working friends feel because I haven't step foot into the working world. I just probably need someone to really understand me because I think I'm a person with too many questions. I used to think I found the perfect friend because he seems to have the answers to my questions. Truth is, I don't think it's possible to find someone to really understand me, I have to unravel all the solutions to my questions myself. Hmm, however in that process, will I become a better person instead.
I think I'm deluding myself too much. I thought I liked someone but eventually I found out I'm actually psycho - ing myself to like someone instead. I don't know whether I'm different or not. I think that chemistry there's no chemistry between us. I think being friends is definitely the choice for me.
It's hard to describe that feeling of like. I definitely have that feeling when I'm with her but I know the probability of being with her is small. I really need a lot of luck and hope that one day it eventually comes.
PS: Huimin, you should know the two people I'm referring too. I know who I really desire for. but I probably need a lot of luck and chance.
Maybe out there, there's really someone of exactly similar looks and character like her. I don't know. Wishful thinking?
*****
I met up with my darlin' bitches for dinner after my last paper. It's always good to hang out with them because we always tend to have "arguements" over social issues. Today, I said no matter what I'll get married by the age of 27. 3 more years to go and it means I really need to save up when I work next year. I know it's going to be hard and I don't know whether I can do it - afterall, I'm still waiting for that right person in my life.
I think I've had enough fun in my life. It could probably be that I had really too much fun that made me a very friend orientated person.
I finally settled for a cheap dinner and opted for the cheaper drink at some cafe. I spent less than $20 for an outing. That's so unlike me. It's not the good meal that makes the outing enjoyable, it's the joy of being around with close friends and chatting up. Something which I'm missing for a long time.
I saw two people today. One was a tutee of mine whom I've taught for when I was in college, the other was a senior of mine in college. I didn't go up and approach them. I'm not the type who'll go up and acknowlege people whom I've never seen for ages. What's the point of saying hi and asking how are you now? To some, it's a friendly gesture but I just felt that it's a wee bit fake. I mean we might not see each other again for several more years right?
Yes, even if I see my ex - friend on the streets, I'll just walk past him. Even if he calls out to me, I'll still continue walking away.
My horoscope today:
"It's up to you to take the first step when it comes to fixing a breach between friends or relations. The stars give you the gift of perspective. You can tell what truly matters and put aside petty ego concerns."
Is it hinting me to be kind and talk to my ex - friend? Is there a need to? So what if I've taken the first step? Is it going to change everything?
The year 2006 is coming to an end soon. I've thought of a great resolution and it has a lot to do with friendships.
Studying is probably the reason why I needn't have worries at all. Somehow, it has occured to me that I never seemed to understand the mentality of the working people. The need for money to support themselves and their family, the desire to get hitched, the urgency of getting an apartment and live independantly. Maybe, that's why as a student, I never thought about all these except to learn to enjoy myself. Have all the fun in the world and always remember to study well too.
Maybe that's why I can never understand how my working friends feel because I haven't step foot into the working world. I just probably need someone to really understand me because I think I'm a person with too many questions. I used to think I found the perfect friend because he seems to have the answers to my questions. Truth is, I don't think it's possible to find someone to really understand me, I have to unravel all the solutions to my questions myself. Hmm, however in that process, will I become a better person instead.
I think I'm deluding myself too much. I thought I liked someone but eventually I found out I'm actually psycho - ing myself to like someone instead. I don't know whether I'm different or not. I think that chemistry there's no chemistry between us. I think being friends is definitely the choice for me.
It's hard to describe that feeling of like. I definitely have that feeling when I'm with her but I know the probability of being with her is small. I really need a lot of luck and hope that one day it eventually comes.
PS: Huimin, you should know the two people I'm referring too. I know who I really desire for. but I probably need a lot of luck and chance.
Maybe out there, there's really someone of exactly similar looks and character like her. I don't know. Wishful thinking?
*****
I met up with my darlin' bitches for dinner after my last paper. It's always good to hang out with them because we always tend to have "arguements" over social issues. Today, I said no matter what I'll get married by the age of 27. 3 more years to go and it means I really need to save up when I work next year. I know it's going to be hard and I don't know whether I can do it - afterall, I'm still waiting for that right person in my life.
I think I've had enough fun in my life. It could probably be that I had really too much fun that made me a very friend orientated person.
I finally settled for a cheap dinner and opted for the cheaper drink at some cafe. I spent less than $20 for an outing. That's so unlike me. It's not the good meal that makes the outing enjoyable, it's the joy of being around with close friends and chatting up. Something which I'm missing for a long time.
I saw two people today. One was a tutee of mine whom I've taught for when I was in college, the other was a senior of mine in college. I didn't go up and approach them. I'm not the type who'll go up and acknowlege people whom I've never seen for ages. What's the point of saying hi and asking how are you now? To some, it's a friendly gesture but I just felt that it's a wee bit fake. I mean we might not see each other again for several more years right?
Yes, even if I see my ex - friend on the streets, I'll just walk past him. Even if he calls out to me, I'll still continue walking away.
My horoscope today:
"It's up to you to take the first step when it comes to fixing a breach between friends or relations. The stars give you the gift of perspective. You can tell what truly matters and put aside petty ego concerns."
Is it hinting me to be kind and talk to my ex - friend? Is there a need to? So what if I've taken the first step? Is it going to change everything?
The year 2006 is coming to an end soon. I've thought of a great resolution and it has a lot to do with friendships.
posted by Psychotic_Puppy at
12:41 AM
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