Reorganisation

It's been 3 weeks since I club. I just felt the need to reorganise my life. I can't go on partying, partying and partying. It's like putting my life in circles which will drain me out mentally and physically.

I've been hearing stories about him from how he's jobless now to he's planning his wedding for next year. It's not his stories that made me want to reorganise myself. I realised the cruelty of life and work when this "Great Depression of the Millenium" sets in. This is the main reason. I still have my job but there are several major changes which I sensed the urgency to have backup plans. I thought of a few plans to fall back on but being the lazy me, I have to force myself to get my act together, discreetly without other's knowledge.

I'm living a double life which I know its screwing up bad. I'm slowly retreating cause I don't want a nasty mess which I can't clear up. My close friends know what's going on and they are just playing a listening ear. I may laugh it off like that and tell them my other half is understanding but deep inside me, I know it's not. I never explain my double life honestly. It's ironic how I used to hate dishonest people but I turned out to be one.

I can give a simple reason like I'm tired, yet I'm partying. I can say that I'm meeting up with friends but I'm making out with people. I was spotted and I stress it was a mistaken identity. I can't weave anymore stories but I shall leave what has happened as a secret. I kept too many secrets and I shall continue holding them.

I don't promise I'll change as promises as many say, are meant to be broken. Maybe the only solution is to leave everything hanging. I can only hope, the past will never be unturned.